Dangerous word...that word "should."
There's a lot attached to that word. A lot of suffering comes from the word. A lot of pain, a lot of grief, and a lot of expectation.
That word can do a significant amount of damage to your life and keep you utterly stuck in the past.
Maybe you've said this before...
"This should have gone down in a very different way."
The very fact of the matter is that it didn't go that way at all.
When you stay in the land of should, you are stuck in the past or the future.
When your "should" lives in the past, you can't come to terms with what happened because it "should" have happened another way. You can't accept what happened. You can't accept the fact that the reality is the reality. Instead, you are trying to live in an alternate world that doesn't exist.
So what's the skill to learn here? Come back to the present moment over and over again.
There's danger in having your "should" exist in the future as well. When your should is in the future, you are projecting specific events that have to happen onto a time and place you really have no idea what will happen in the first place. Then, when your projection doesn't happen you end up being incredibly disappointed.
You have to keep coming back to the present moment.
It's the painful experiences of life that cause us to try to lock our hearts away and project our experience onto the unknown. Truth is, the real magic of life comes when you decide to live in the mystery and forget trying to understand what's about to happen.
These dark times will always be there.
But what will make us suffer even more is not accepting the truth...
So...you have to view it this way. What happened happened...and it couldn't have happened in any other way.
What happens when you let go of your past and your future?
You get to live in the present. You get to live in knowing that life is going to take care of you no matter what happens.
"Should" doesn't exist in your life anymore and you live in the present.
No living in the past...because we've accepted it.
No living in the future...because the only moment we have is right now.
You're living "here."
So stay in touch with the present moment and exist in the present.
Live in a world of acceptance.
There's a lot attached to that word. A lot of suffering comes from the word. A lot of pain, a lot of grief, and a lot of expectation.
That word can do a significant amount of damage to your life and keep you utterly stuck in the past.
Maybe you've said this before...
"This should have gone down in a very different way."
The very fact of the matter is that it didn't go that way at all.
When you stay in the land of should, you are stuck in the past or the future.
When your "should" lives in the past, you can't come to terms with what happened because it "should" have happened another way. You can't accept what happened. You can't accept the fact that the reality is the reality. Instead, you are trying to live in an alternate world that doesn't exist.
So what's the skill to learn here? Come back to the present moment over and over again.
There's danger in having your "should" exist in the future as well. When your should is in the future, you are projecting specific events that have to happen onto a time and place you really have no idea what will happen in the first place. Then, when your projection doesn't happen you end up being incredibly disappointed.
You have to keep coming back to the present moment.
It's the painful experiences of life that cause us to try to lock our hearts away and project our experience onto the unknown. Truth is, the real magic of life comes when you decide to live in the mystery and forget trying to understand what's about to happen.
These dark times will always be there.
But what will make us suffer even more is not accepting the truth...
So...you have to view it this way. What happened happened...and it couldn't have happened in any other way.
What happens when you let go of your past and your future?
You get to live in the present. You get to live in knowing that life is going to take care of you no matter what happens.
"Should" doesn't exist in your life anymore and you live in the present.
No living in the past...because we've accepted it.
No living in the future...because the only moment we have is right now.
You're living "here."
So stay in touch with the present moment and exist in the present.
Live in a world of acceptance.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is a professional life coach at AYKME coaching. Dive into some great bible quotes on faith by clicking here or read more quotes on hope.
